Chrissie Ep 38 (Cesar)
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Cesar: [00:00:00] when you operate from that perspective of maximizing the experiences that bring you joy, I think it, simplifies the priorities.
Chrissie: You can be all of you, and in fact, we need you to be all of you all at the same time whenever possible, offering your gifts to the world in a way that feels like a gift to yourself as well.
Cesar: we're always trying to compare and to say, Is this good enough? Is it something worthwhile? These are the wrong questions, the right question is, is this what's trying to come out? When you put it that way, it's actually, it's bigger than you. It's beyond you. It's a light that's within you.
Chrissie: you're listening to Solving for Joy. I'm your host, Dr. Chrissie Ott.
Hello friends, and welcome to [00:01:00] today's episode of the Solving for Joy podcast. Today's guest is someone who knows a thing or two about joy, especially the kind that comes from laughter, real connection and showing up as truly yourself. Caesar Cervantes is a speaker, coach and speech writer who helps people bring their whole selves to the stories they tell. His journey started in standup comedy with appearances on Comedy Central, a few Hollywood films, and eventually brought him to the TEDx stage where he now coaches speakers across three continents. Uh, what stands out most is how grounded, thoughtful, and genuinely joyful Caesar is. If you meet him, if you know him, you already know when he's teaching, when he is coaching or just connecting he leads with his heart and a delightful sense of humor. Caesar, we're glad you're here. Thanks for coming. Let's chat.
Cesar: So beautiful. Oh my goodness. Yeah, that was, that was the most heartfelt, intentional, uh, intro [00:02:00] I think I've ever had. And, uh, yeah, I just, you, you know how to set the stage and the vibe I'm feeling. I'm very, I'm so ready for uh, this podcasting experience. Let's do it.
Chrissie: That makes my heart so happy. Um, you know, we have known each other a relatively short amount of time here, so I am eager to, you know, offer some space for you to just share a little bit about your journey. Like, none of us mm-hmm. Have arrived where we've arrived in a straight line, umm, sure you're no exceptions. Mm-hmm. So, um, what would you like to just share a little bit about how you arrived here?
Cesar: Oh, that's, uh, thanks. I love the openness of that question, and because the vibe is right, you might, you might get me sharing some things that maybe are a little on the edge. I don't know. I might Sweet, sweet. All right. Yeah. I might say something I regret. Watch out. Okay. Uh, well, look, I, I think the best way to start is to say uh, I'm the son of immigrants. Uh, I grew up on the [00:03:00] border in El Paso, Texas. Oh. And I was a theater kid and I loved playing sports. Uh, but mostly, yeah, I was just extremely extroverted. And my parents were like, yeah, you should go to, like, you should be on stage somewhere that's not here, uh, away from us.
And so from a very early age, I just, I, I always remember wanting to perform in some kind of way. And, and theater was like the first entrance into that. And I was like in commercials as a kid. And uh, I just, uh, I, every time though, you put a camera on me or you put me on stage, I. I was trying to make, I was trying to make you laugh. Like that was my instinct, Uhhuh, and there's, there's a couple reasons for that. You know, that's how my dad and I connected, I think. Um, and, and maybe there's some deeper things about deflecting and, you know, uh, it goes on and on, but [00:04:00] that, those are, those are early memories for me.
And so if I connect the dots of how I arrived. Um, I think that's a combination of things. It was the stage and then wanting to, wanting to give something meaningful and to be a part of something meaningful. And so it went from theater to standup and standup felt like a medium that I couldn't quite connect on a really deep level. And so then I found speaking and then finally coaching and helping others give their light on stage. And it just feels right now like I'm in exactly where I should be.
Chrissie: I love that so much. Um, listeners will know already, and I will share with you that my interpretation of the concept of joy is meaning alignment and delight. And so you just highlighted like that [00:05:00] being on stage and connecting with people brought you meaning that you identified that something about comedy and standup didn't feel truly aligned. And where you are right now is all three of those. And there's story right?
Cesar: That's right. Yeah. Like the layers had to come together. And there's a spiritual component to this too that, you know, feels like a different podcast. But yeah, I think that's right. It, it, it, it just kind of all culminated and you don't know how your paths are gonna, you know, um, come together. But I definitely felt like I had different paths and different parts of myself that I was telling myself had to remain separate, or the world was telling me, you can't do both of these things, right. You can't be like, you know, uh, you can't be analytical and also heartfelt and serious. And then also, you know, do standup and be funny [00:06:00] and like, you know, so I, I think it, it, it all exists in, um together when we're, when we're putting together a message. I really feel like when you think about the theater, for example, like there's these two masks, right, of like tragedy and comedy, and I think there's probably more than that. Yes. Um, and that's kind of like a metaphor for harmony.
Chrissie: Tragedy comedy is is only one binary spectrum, right? Mm-hmm. There's so many. So many in-betweens. Um, and I love what you just pointed out, it's such an important concept in the coaching work that I do and that so many do where we are helping to shine a light or speed up the process of realizing that we don't have to live under the laws and [00:07:00] rules and should bess and can't bes, um, that have been intentionally or accidentally handed down to us or you know, just communicated to us implicitly through cultural norms, um, that you can't be an artist and be financially successful or that, you know, depending on what decade we're in, you can't be a woman and a physician or, you know, like so many, so many other things that turned out to be absolute bunk. You can be all of you, and in fact, we need you to be all of you all at the same time whenever possible, offering your gifts to the world in a way that feels like a gift to yourself as well.
Cesar: I mean, I think you nailed it. So there's this quote that, that comes to mind that I'm sure is, is not exactly correct, and I'm not gonna tell you who it came from, but it goes something like this, right? The, the, the light within you, um, should be brighter than the light that shines on you. Oh. And [00:08:00] uh, I really, I really feel that and take that with me in, in everybody I work, you know, with every experience that I have with a client or whoever I'm working with at the time.
Uh, because what happens almost a hundred percent of the time is we're always trying to compare and to say, is this good? And ask, is this good enough or is it as good as this? Or is it, is it like this? Is it something worthwhile? And these are, these are the wrong questions, right? The, the right question is, is this what's trying to come out? Um, and so when you, when you put it that way, it's actually, it's bigger than you. It's beyond you. It's a light that's within you. But it's, it's, it's not anything that's external or that needs comparison, if that makes sense.
Chrissie: Yeah. [00:09:00] It's not, am I okay? It's, is this what I am?
Cesar: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Exactly.
Chrissie: We just got back from spending some time in for spring break in London and what a joyous, um, trip it was. And we got to meet up with, um, a friend from here, from Portland, uh, who was traveling over there at the same time. And our kids are best friends and really sweet. And anyway, I'm telling you this backstory just to tell you about this funny inside joke that we were laughing at called me good. And we were like, basically whenever we're doing something that's not fully aligned, or we're just like checking out the environment. We're just always trying to say me good. You know, when we defend against criticism or Right. You know, when we try too hard, like we're just always trying to say, me good. Me try me good.
Um, I. And I don't know if that has anything to do with what we just said Exactly. Directly. Yeah. [00:10:00] But you know, if we are certain of our goodness. I think it does because when we're certain of our goodness, when we're not needing external validation, um, we're much more likely to let that light shine 'cause we're not worried about how it's gonna be. Um, we're not as worried about how it's gonna be received. I mean, nobody wants to be ostracized, but like, am I living a life true to my creative impulse? Yes.
Cesar: Yeah, and I think also some part of coaching is also celebrating and, and a little bit of cheerleading, right? Because Absolutely. I think that of course we want to find like the, the true creative force is that thing that's, that's within us that's trying to come out. Right? That's, that's really what we want to tap into. At the same time, there's value in affirming and celebrating each other and milestones and the games [00:11:00] and those, you know, those are valuable.
And in fact, you know, when I think about, I don't know if you've ever played the game like my parents are still with me, but you know, they're aging. And like I think about what it's gonna be like without them one day. And, you know, I play the game, like, what would I say? What would I say to each of them before they, they leave, right? And the minute I ask that question, I go, W why am I, why am I waiting to say that? Right. And so, but that's a natural thing to want to do and to want to receive at that time in our life. And so then when you play that game of what would that be? Then you can, you can just make it happen now.
Chrissie: That's so true. I got to play that game in real life with my father. And, um, it was, uh. [00:12:00] It was so poignant. It was so, um, you know, we had a complex life up to that point, and then it got so simple, so simple. It was just like, thank you and I love you and mm-hmm. Um, it was, how lucky were we to be, you know, on, on this planet together at the same time.
Cesar: Yeah. Yeah.
Chrissie: Even though like, you know, our day-to-day interactions were not so bueno, but still like, I honor and love you as my father, as a being, as my human family, as my spiritual family. I bow to our process together. It has been profound.
Cesar: Yeah. And worthwhile, you know,
Chrissie: so worthwhile. Yeah. I'm curious about the spiritual part that you, um, alluded to for your path. Caesar, what was, what's that like?
Cesar: Is it, is it this kind? Is it this kind of a podcast? I don't know. Are we, it's, you know,
Chrissie: we, we go [00:13:00] where we go, where we feel there's no rules.
Cesar: Alright. Well I think, yeah, so sometimes I get asked a question like, be, you know, and again, I think this is attributed to like when you're, when you're an extrovert and you're just like you kind of own your, you know who you are and your stage and your moment. Sometimes people go like. How, how is it that you're able to be, so you like all, like, how'd you get there? Right. And you know, most of the time I'm just like, I don't know, like I just, you know, I've always been a performer and I think that's what you're seeing is like, you know, I'm just, i'm kind of just me as an extrovert, and I know that if I just share and I'm vulnerable, that's how I, that's how you connect with people. And so I just allow myself to do that thing, right?
Um, and so that's one side of it. The, the other side is [00:14:00] that, uh, like I thought I was gonna die when I was like 20. Like I got really sick and I was in the hospital and like, I had a very like deep spiritual sort of, um, reckoning. I. Reckoning, maybe that's not the right word. Maybe. Maybe it is. Maybe it's. So, I, uh, you know, I grew up Catholic, uh, and that's how I accessed God and had my own spiritual experiences through that, you know, through that walk. Uh, and then I would say though, that there is this sort of combination of however you practice your spirituality or faith, and then the moment where you have to say, if I die, I'm okay. I'm good. And then everything after that is a gift and you want to only do what you want to do. [00:15:00] And what you want to give and who you want to spend time with and, and so that's what you see now.
Chrissie: So clarifying to have such, um, like existential threat. It really does make, make things clear, you know, and we still get, it still gets to be Tuesday afternoon and we still get to be ill tempered at times. We still have to take out the garbage. But if you've had those moments, um, it really does shift you, it changes you in a, in a really important way. And could, I could feel the importance of that message and, um, and see it, you know, how it touches you to touch that. Again, thank you for sharing that. Yeah.
Cesar: And, and it's real, I also think that it, it's not a one and done because you, you forget and you slide and then you're back into the, you know, the, the pangs of life and mm-hmm. [00:16:00] Um, all of that. But you, you have this undeniable clarity to, to remember and to fall back on and to access and to practice. Yeah.
Chrissie: Yeah. I love the naming that it is so much remembering. Um, like any core wisdom, when you touch it, you're like, oh, it feels, it feels familiar. It feels like it has a, a place in my system that's, um, that's like remembering as opposed to like learning, I don't know, the Pythagorean theorem.
Cesar: Yeah.
Chrissie: Um,
Cesar: yeah,
Chrissie: you have been coaching people who wanted to be speakers, who are speakers and on TEDx stages all over the world. Um, what has been especially delightful and or surprising. Let's say delightful and surprising [00:17:00] about that for you?
Cesar: Yeah. Well I think, I think it really, so there's, you know, speaking in general is kind of where my heart is, right? TEDx is cool because it's a very specific kind of stage, it's short form, uh, and it's a, it's, it's an outcome. And, and anytime you're coaching and you're on a journey, it's really nice to have a very definitive outcome. And, but similarly, like if you had a keynote speech coming up, or, I mean, even, even you were giving, you know, a speech at your, uh, at your daughter's wedding or something like that, right? And you're getting ready and you want it to be great and you want to prepare, and there's, there's both a, there's both a skill and an art to it. And that's like that, i've always felt like that was sort of who I was always competing with. Like this sort of analytical and [00:18:00] creative forces that were in me at all times.
And so, um, that's what's happening in this. I think what's the most fulfilling is like being able to take someone from this uncertainty of an idea to like this full-blown experience of delivering it on a stage. Them doing something they weren't even sure they, they could do, um, but it was in them to do it. Then they also have this message that changed them while creating it. And I think that's the most unexpected part of it, is that like, so it comes back to that thing where like if you're trying to find, like find what's within you that needs to be set, like that light that's trying to come out. Right. And I don't know if you've read that book, um, the Creative Way, Rick Rubin. Do you know Rick Rubin? I
Chrissie: love that book. Yeah, [00:19:00]
Cesar: it's so good.
Chrissie: An artist's, so friend introduced me to it and she made an analogy that it was like her Bible, and I honestly have taken it in such small pieces because I get so much creative mileage out of the smallest bit of wisdom from that book. Yes, yes, I am. Thank you Rick Rubin, for writing it.
Cesar: So what it speaks to for me is this thing where many of us, like we're about to, you know, we, we have a thing coming up. We either wanna do our, our TEDx talk or we've got a, a, you know, a work presentation, a keynote or whatever. And, uh, sometimes we become paralyzed for, for a couple of different reasons. One is we think it's about us and the other is that we're not prepared. And, uh, so that's when we're get the anxiety and we're not sure what to do and we get like, ah, maybe I should not do this. Maybe I should quit. Maybe I should, you know, whatever. Fill in the blank.
And [00:20:00] when you're able to go like, yes, I'm not prepared, I will get prepared and also acknowledge that this isn't about me, it's what I can give then like that kind of dissipates. And the coaching part of it is me helping people realize this, get them prepared and move them from this state of, this is about me to tapping into that thing that's trying to come out.
So I don't know if that's kind of answers like what's surprising or whatever, but like every time it happens and like I see someone go through that process, it's transformative and they learn something about themselves and they create something they thought wasn't possible.
Chrissie: It's reminding me of, um, like the miracle of birth. I'm serious. Like everyone is a little different. There are certain things that are gonna happen, you know, one way [00:21:00] or another. Um, but everyone is a little bit different. It's a very, it's something that happens every day and also like the most miraculous thing that can happen in life in many ways.
Cesar: Yeah, no, I totally agree. I think, you know, um, I mean, I, I, well, I can't, uh, I, I, I don't know what it's like to actually give birth, but like being there, it, you know, was completely transformative and the whole journey and like, still as a dad, like, it's just like, it's the best, it's the best.
Chrissie: Uh, we just found out that our children have the same name or at least nickname, so That's right.
Cesar: We have a,
Chrissie: we have a special bond. Remember that? Yeah. I didn't want to non permissively say your child's name on.
Cesar: That's okay. She, she wants it spoken wherever I go.
Chrissie: She says, she says, say my name in the rooms i'm not a dad.
Cesar: Great leadership skills. My [00:22:00] 6-year-old.
Chrissie: That's right.
Cesar: She's gonna take a stage too. I, I feel it. She like, yeah. It's so funny because she, uh, like we're so much alike, which means that like. My wife really is the one who works with her when she's having, uh, some, you know, I, I can't be there when she's struggling because I'm like, stop it. And she's like, get outta my face, you know? It's not healthy. Yes, not at all. But then my, uh, my 2-year-old, like, she can't, she wakes up and she's like, dad, dad, um, you know, she we're just, uh, inseparable. Oh. And you know, it's a different bond, right? Because of you just have different traits. And that's what you discovered that I, I had no idea.
Uh, people tell you like, oh, you're this way because you were raised. You know, so much of it is just who you are when you're born. I mean, like, I like [00:23:00] most of it, you know, and like, you just kind of gotta not mess your children up and you just gotta go like, Hey, here's what I notice about you. Here's who you are. You're, you know, like, and love that. And that's, that's the job of a parent.
Chrissie: Okay. So I don't think I've said this on the podcast before, but my, my Issa is, um, a lot like what it might be like to have parented a young female Jack Black as a child.
Cesar: Well, yes. Well, Jack Black, of course, that's his, that's his stage name. And so I'm gonna allow, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say, okay. Wow, that's, that is, I'm, I'm picturing that. Do you have, do you have, uh, uh, uh, video evidence of this behavior? [00:24:00]
Chrissie: I do, but it's not for public consumption.
Cesar: Okay. All right. Fair enough. I'll imagine it,
Chrissie: but it is, it is a funny home life and never a dull moment for sure.
Cesar: Love it.
Chrissie: I, uh, I know that you have a book coming out. And, uh, in our pre-conversation I learned that the ebook is already available for pre-order and the paperback is available in like 72 hours from when we are recording. So by the time this reaches our listener's ears, it's completely available and it is called Great Speech. So congratulations. Yes. On that achievement. Um, I would love to hear more about what inspired you to write it and Yes. How you hope it to serve its role in the world.
Cesar: Oh, thank you. Well, look, I, you know, I really love to simplify things and the way, the way that I wrote this book was [00:25:00] like, I just asked what would help people that I'm working with you know, understand the structure of, of a great speech. And there are two primary, uh, talks that, that I help create, which is the TEDx talk. And then also like, uh, if you're giving a keynote, right? Or you've got a speaking gig somewhere, like your signature talk kind of thing, like what's the thing that you would go and give a talk about?
And so I go through essentially the blueprint of what it looks like and it's, uh, every chapter is a section of, of a speech. And then I give you a fill in the blank to create your talk along the way. So. It's a book. And there there is of course a narrative element to it. And you get to learn about me and, and my buddy Steve that I work with, that, that helped write the, the talk. And he helps, he helps me with speech writing and, and [00:26:00] the business and all that cool stuff. Uh, but at the end of the day, it's also just a really useful tool that's gonna make the journey go that much faster. It's gonna save you a ton of time and effort and you'll create something great. Um. So that's, that's what it's for. I suspect that there will be other books in the future. I've had so much fun creating it. Um, but would love it. Would love it if, if folks would check it out and, and uh, and you know, just go buy it. Just go buy it already.
Chrissie: Yes. Just go buy, buy it for all your friends for Christmas. Yes. Um, we are definitely gonna link to it. I am excited to Thank you. Get my hands on a copy. Um. And it does sound like an incredibly, um, helpful tool in Thank you. Constructing a, uh, a speech that has the, the rises and the falls and the arc and the through line that makes you hear something and go, [00:27:00] that was masterful. Full bingo. Got it. That was incredibly well done.
Uh, I'm thinking about Hannah Gadsby right now In the first show I ever went. to. Um, do you know Hannah Gadsby?
Cesar: That sounds familiar. Tell me, tell me who she's again.
Chrissie: She's a queer Australian comedian mm-hmm. Who happened to study like renaissance art history.
Cesar: Oh, yes, yes, yes. Sent,
Chrissie: she instructed her one woman show, um, with like, relevant, uh, references to these, you know, like renaissance masterpieces. Mm. And it was one of those moments where I was like, that was so masterful and so well done. She, you know, gave her message, which was actually like an anti-bullying, anti, you know, like homophobia message in this case. And like. S just so artfully laced in [00:28:00] this theme that did not feel like you were being stretched at all. It just was like, oh wow, that was, that was just amazingly well done. Um, so I imagine that is an example that would probably follow some of the format of this tool in your, in your book.
Cesar: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think, you know, the, the thing that can take you from, I'm not sure how to do this, to like way better, significantly better in a very short amount of time is to understand structure. And so that's why, you know, we started with that first, uh, because once you see it, you'll start seeing that form, you know, wherever you go. It actually can be, you know, uh, applied to other mediums. But, um. You know, the speech itself that if, if it's a TEDx talk, keynote signature talk, whatever it is, it's just gonna make it so clear for people. And so, yeah. I'm just so excited to get it in people's hands.
Chrissie: When you start working with, um, newbies, do you find that they [00:29:00] often start by just like wanting to tell you their whole autobiography? Is that a thing that you see?
Cesar: Yeah. Well, one of the, you know, I, I get asked sometimes like, what's the number one mistake speakers make? You know, like that sort of like, you know, click bait thing. Uh, I, I would say though, like sincerely, we, we just create, we make ourselves the hero. And that is just a tendency that we have to do because as you pointed out earlier, like me, good. You know me good, me good, me, you good. Me good. Here. Here's me good. Uh, me was not good Now. Good. Uh, I mean, that's almost like every motivational speech you you've ever heard, right? Me not good God. It's
Chrissie: cookie monster.
Cesar: Me. Me. Not good. Me [00:30:00] good now? Now you good? Me? Kind of me good. Uh, yeah, I'm gonna take that with me now everywhere I go. But, uh, yeah, that's, that's kind of, uh, you have to, you have to see yourself as the, the sage as the person who's taking folks on a journey and then allowing them to see it for themselves, right. As opposed to like, this thing happened and. Here I am now.
You know, uh, yeah. You want, you actually, if you create a hero in your talk, you want it to be somebody else. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Uh, and ultimately it's the audience. But if you have a story, you can lift someone else up and you then they become the embodiment, the living example of the message that you wanna share.
Chrissie: That's so important. I love that. I'm gonna be thinking about that later. [00:31:00] Um, would you like to talk about the difference between being polished and being present?
Cesar: Oh, interesting. Yeah, that's a great question. So I'll, I'll frame it like this. Often when we think of a public speaker, um, or when we think of the format that we're, that we're used to speaking in. It's a professional setting and we imagine that there are certain things you say and don't say and the appearance of, or even, even when you think of a TED talk, a lot of times people have this very sort of academic notion about what it should be, uh, and, and it's polished to the point of not being them or accessible. And I would say most things that we sit through in a work setting are really not enjoyable. Right? [00:32:00] Um, and that's,
Chrissie: I mean, all statement polished to the point of blandness,
Cesar: uh, or just, they're like, it's two things. One is like, I'm trying to stick within this structure and be very polished. The other is just that they're not, they're not good. They haven't honed the skill, and then on, on top of it, they're trying to do something that's polished, right? Mm-hmm. So not only are you not accessible as a human, but then now you don't have the skillset either. And so I would say, you know, if you're, if you're gonna, uh, try not to make both of those mistakes, that's when it really like, you know, crumbles.
Chrissie: That's when you bomb.
Cesar: Yeah. And I do think, like, look, there are certain things that you have to do at work, and, but if you allow yourself to break down some of these notions that you have, you'll probably find that you end up connecting with people and, and your message is received. Um, just by allowing yourself to talk the way that you talk and, you [00:33:00] know, say, say the things that you want to say.
So present is is really accessing it, it starts with accessing your conversational voice in the way that you are in, in everyday conversation. And so not only does that put you in the state of like, Hey, I'm just up here kind of talking, and maybe I'm not thinking about this as like some big presentation. I'm just thinking about this as like sharing something and having a conversation, then you're able to be more present, um, and others then receive it as just hanging out, right? We're having coffee, we're doing a thing here, and it's, it's fine. It's fine. Everything's gonna be good and I'm gonna learn something. So I think that's how I would frame it.
Chrissie: Thank you. That was, that was fun to hear [00:34:00] you talk about. Um, we know a lot of friends in common because you have helped a ton of physicians and physician coaches prepare for the TEDx stage, um
Cesar: mm-hmm.
Chrissie: Which is super exciting. And we have not necessarily shared this super broadly yet, but as of today, we're sharing with everyone that you are a featured speaker at the 2025 Physician Coaching Summit.
Cesar: Yes, I'm totally, uh, we're public with this. It's out.
Chrissie: We're we're coming out, we're coming out. I want the world to know. No, I don't usually sing on the podcast. We're gonna stop that. Okay. All right. Fine. Yeah. But we are super excited that you are coming to the summit. Me too. I can't wait. It's, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you looking forward to about being there? And without giving too much away, um, what do you wanna share with the physician coaching community?
Cesar: Yes. Well, I'll start just [00:35:00] by saying like, for you know, through however the universe works, I, that's about 30, 40% of my clients happen to be physicians or in the healthcare space. Right. Dang. And, uh, so it's a good chunk. And, and yeah, and I think that it speaks to a couple of different things. One is just, I think we we, we've been able to create some amazing talks. And so, you know, uh, physicians talk to each other and they trust each other and they refer people. And so I've been really fortunate in that way.
Um, I also think that there's, there is something about how physicians, they really love learning and they love school in a way. And, uh, I love teaching and there's this symbiotic relationship that just really has felt like it fits. And I, I'll I you might argue with me, but, but [00:36:00] totally like coachable and willing to learn and doing and doing the homework. And that elevates both of us. Right?
Chrissie: We're really good at being students.
Cesar: Yeah. And this was not something I, I, I knew, but uh, when I learned it, I was like, oh, right. Well that makes sense. Right. I. Um, I think about the friends that I have who became physicians and, they were, they were, they were always great in school and loved school. And so I think that's part of it. Um, and that excites me just to be in that space with, with like-minded folks and to be sharing. I also think that the messages themselves are really powerful and transformative because you're able to tap into both a lived experience, but then also completely see the value of what's the data say, what's the research like, how am I contributing to this conversation? And so in, in my view, it's, it's really a perfect, marriage. [00:37:00]
Chrissie: Yay. So awesome. So what's the teaser about what you're gonna bring to the summit?
Cesar: Okay. Oh, right. Okay. So we're gonna, I mean, look, we're gonna, we're gonna do a couple of things, right? I'm gonna show folks exactly how to take their idea, their message, the thing that they have, that they do, and translate that into a short form, powerful talk that not only is transformative for the audience, but then also helps people see you as a thought leader, as someone who can. Um, be a part of creating transformation for others. And so that's, that's what I wanna share. So we will both talk about kind of the, the TEDx side of that and, and I'll show folks how to take that journey, how to get on the stage, and then how also to deliver a powerful message, whether that's on a TEDx stage or elsewhere, keynote signature talk, et cetera.
Chrissie: I think [00:38:00] that, um, a lot of people in the world probably see their, um, friends or, you know, one degree off acquaintances on TEDx stages and are sitting there scratching their heads going, who invited them? Right? Like, how do, how do you get the invitation? Um, not knowing that really you have to invite yourself. And, and say, you know, I, I have a message and I would like to hone it for this stage. Um,
Cesar: right, right.
Chrissie: And I love that there are some, you know, some people like you in the world who are like, let me, let me guide you through this process. Yes, you too can do this very cool thing that, um, multiplies and amplifies your impact and the message that your heart wants to give the world.
Cesar: That's exactly right. There's this, um, you know, it's not, it's not intuitive how to go about it or, or access it. And so there's an [00:39:00] application process and there's really the skill of sort of, uh, pitching your idea. And then the talk itself is really a whole different thing. So. It, it, that's why I think a lot of folks have found it very difficult is like, these are two different skill sets. Like how do you communicate something in a very short form to grab interest, to hook people, and also aligns with sort of the ethos of this organization. And then also create a talk that does something else that has like the full, the fullness, the richness of, of your idea.
Chrissie: Yes. A talk that. You know, transcends, intrigues, delights.
Cesar: You got it.
Chrissie: Mm. I can't wait. I can't wait for my turn to, um, work with you, Cesar. It's gonna be so funny.
Cesar: Well, we're gonna get you on that stage, Chrissie. We're gonna do it. We're gonna make it happy.
Chrissie: I'm looking forward to it. Excited for it. You talked about the [00:40:00] importance of cheering people on and celebrating, and I want to acknowledge and celebrate you for how much you do that in real life, um, on your Facebook group. And you know, for anybody who follows Cesar on Facebook, I think that what you are probably most visible doing all of the time is actually congratulating someone every day for getting their first, second, third like talk for, you know, landing this keynote and I know that it is, um, it is genuine and it also happens to, you know, serve the message, Hey, I'm here doing this, and it's going really well. Um, but I love the positivity in that message and how it gets, you know, shuffled into the rest of the, you know, not always so positive stuff that comes through our feed.
Cesar: Yeah. Yeah. I, um. This, I, I love the way you, you set this up. So I, I'm not somebody who naturally wants to post on social [00:41:00] media Right? And heard I, right. And, and I think that like most of us fall into that bucket. Um, and, but I, but I do want to tell people about the work that we're doing and, uh, the, the, the true excitement of having people achieve it and having people be transformed by what's out there and what we're creating, um, and helping others create.
And so really truly what you see just came out of a necessity for, um, getting over a, a block of what to post. And what I discovered was that I was perfectly okay with imperfect posts celebrating others. Right? Yeah. And so then I just like, well, yeah, well that says something about, [00:42:00] you know what I want to give.
And, and so that's, that's why you, you see that and like, there's, there's other things that I could be posting and should be posting in a way, like from a business perspective. But, but where I don't get stuck is in celebrating others. And, uh, I also think that it builds a community and a culture and normalizes celebrating others and not seeing others as a threat or competition. Um. That's important. That's important. And so, yeah, I just, you know, I don't, I can't take credit for it really, because it's just something, it was like a utility. Uh, but at the same time, it, it's become its own thing. Yeah.
Chrissie: Yeah. Well, I notice it and I think, I think it's valuable.
Cesar: Thank you.
Chrissie: Yeah. Um, is there anything [00:43:00] else that you'd like to say about how you are solving for joy these days.
Cesar: Oh, interesting. Um hmm. Let me see here. Well, I'll say, I, I'll I'll start this sentence and we'll just see where it goes. Yep. So, uh, right now. I am in the midst of, we're moving, right? So we we're in under contract in this house that we found that we love. And, uh, it's exciting. It's actually like not far. It's like still in Kingwood, in, in our neighborhood, basically. Uh, still close to the grandparents, all of that. It's just renovated, which is what we were gonna do to our house. And then we were like, oh God, I don't wanna live through a renovation that's really expensive. Um, so it actually just made sense on all fronts, but then you also forget the, of course, the, the stress that that moving is right.
Um, so both moving into a new [00:44:00] house, but then also having to sell this one and get this one ready. And Wow. It just brings up like, ugh, why did we do this? And, uh, why don't we just sit here in our old kitchen and just be happy about it? You know? Um, but, uh, I guess what I'll say, what I, what I wanna say about, you know, connecting that is a couple of things. One is that like, if you're able to clearly define, you know, these moments that, that make you happy and to create those moments or often, that's, that's a big key, right?
And when we think about how much time we spend in the home, because I, I work from home and to see the home as a place where we increase the amount of experiences that bring us joy. It, it made a lot of [00:45:00] sense. Right. And, and from that perspective, when you operate from that perspective of maximizing the experiences that bring you joy, I think it, you know, it simplifies the priorities. It might mean that you don't, you don't commute to work, it might mean that you don't actually take, take that job, that that pays more, but it would take you away from the experiences that bring you joy.
Um, and when in the midst of this stress, I keep reminding myself to spend time with my my children because, well because they bring me joy. And even though there's a lot to do, um, I'm not going to, I'm not gonna sacrifice that time. Um, so anyway, be intentional. Know what those experiences are and maximize them. Right. [00:46:00] Repeat.
Chrissie: Absolutely. Um, congratulations on the house upgrade, uh, as it thank you as it comes, and good luck with the difficulties that come with it.
Cesar: Yeah. Thank you.
Chrissie: Uh, you're speaking to somebody who remodeled a kitchen and did an outdoor update. Um, both in the last three years.
Cesar: Hmm.
Chrissie: And so I did the thing that you didn't wanna live through. And it's true, right? You don't really wanna live through it, but the new kitchen will bring much joy, or the new house will bring much joy. Yes, there will be. There will be enjoyment. Indeed. I predict
Cesar: indeed. Yeah. Well, I, you know, we'll, maybe we can swap some, some kitchen pictures and, uh
Chrissie: Oh, we'd love to. Um, my stove has a name and, um, my wife used to tell me to stop looking at kitchen porn. [00:47:00] Okay. So that's where we're at with that.
Cesar: Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. Um, yeah, I'm, I'm comfortable sharing, um, uh, pictures of, of the new kitchen, um, even, even e even in, in a state of disarray. Like, it still looks, it still looks really great. I'm so happy about it. I'm like, wow, this is, this is the kitchen we would've built for ourselves. And uh, that's so great. That's so rare. Yeah. Yes, I'm excited.
Chrissie: May may. It. And the food made in it bring you all so much joy.
Cesar: Hmm. The heart of the home. Absolutely will. Yes.
Chrissie: Yes. And next time I'm in Houston, I'm gonna call you up to meet for margaritas.
Cesar: Please do. Yeah, please really do. And I'll You'll Yes, I'll Las
Chrissie: Pekos is right down the street.
Cesar: Okay. I'm, I'm, I'm in, I'm in. I don't drink margaritas, but I'll, I'll watch, I'll, I'll watch and, uh, maybe I'll have a, a a a light beer.
Chrissie: There we go. [00:48:00] Um, Caesar, thank you so much for this amazing conversation today. I just, I've enjoyed it so much. can't wait to read the book. Can't wait to be with you in person at the summit, uh, and just watch. Likewise watch the star shoot through the sky.
Cesar: Can't wait. Chrissie thank you so much for having me.
Chrissie: My pleasure.
Cesar Cervantes, everyone. I loved that conversation. Thank you, Cesar, for bringing your whole self to this conversation, your laughter and the kind of wisdom that sneaks up on you. From comedy stages to coaching sessions, he's reminded us that presence matters more than Polish. And the stories we carry are often the ones that someone needed to hear.
Next week, I am so excited to introduce you to my dear friend, Dr. Kelly Holder. She's a clinical [00:49:00] psychologist, a spiritual powerhouse, one of the most grounded leaders I know in the world of mental health and wellbeing, and she is the Chief Wellbeing Officer At Brown Medical School, we are gonna talk about what it means to dress for joy and to lead with integrity, and to stay anchored in hope, even when life feels heavy. Her voice is one you're gonna wanna hear.
If today's episode gave you something to think about or made you laugh, exhale, or remember something important, I'd be so grateful if you'd share it. Leave us a review, send it to a friend, or tag us in a post. That's how this community grows, one honest conversation at a time.
And as a reminder, I am a doctor, but not your doctor. Everything we share here is in the spirit of connection and joy, and it's not medical advice. If you've been feeling the pull to reconnect with yourself or realign with your values, 12 by 12 remastered is now open. It's our unique hybrid coaching container [00:50:00] designed to help you reclaim and connect with what matters most. You can schedule a free exploratory call any time from the website, no pressure, just space to talk, and the link is in the show notes.
If you're a physician, coach, leader, or healer who wants to be in the room with others doing this meaningful, messy, beautiful work, join us in November at the Physician Coaching Summit. There is a Memorial Day flash sale of a hundred dollars off registration through the end of May. Come be a part of it. You belong here.
This podcast comes to life through a mighty little team. Kelsey Vaughn, our producer and creative heartbeat, Alyssa Wilkes, our post-production, everything. Shelby Brakken our visual storyteller, and Denys Kyschuck who gives us our music. And Sue, as always, my love, thank you for being my everything. And to you, may you stop asking if your story is good enough, and instead if it's true. [00:51:00] May you give yourself permission to be a little messy, a little brave, and fully alive, and may your joy. Yes, yours. Be the thread that leads you home. See you next time.
