Sara: All of a sudden, her heart started beating, she was beautiful, and healthy, and fine, and I, that was my moment, that was the seed. But we're not a family anymore, we're only three now, instead of four. I said, oh sweetheart, you know, we are always a family, we just are a different shape now. We're a tricycle, and tricycles are amazing. In that moment, it was such a beautiful example of the power of humanity.
That was an example of complicated joy for me.
Chrissie: You're listening to Solving for Joy. I'm your host, Dr. Chrissie Ott.
Hello and welcome to the second episode of the Solving for Joy podcast. We are here today with Dr. Sara Harkness Bovitz, someone I am privileged to call my dear friend. Dr. Bovitz is an internal medicine physician. She is the author of a beautiful memoir called The Tricycle. She's a parent of two teenage sons, and she is the widow of the wonderful JJ Bovitz.
And she is here to talk to us today about many things pertaining to solving for joy. We're going to touch on many things today, but one of them will be how grief and joy relate to one another in beautiful and complex ways. Sara, welcome. Thanks for joining me.
Sara: Thank you so much, Chrissie. I'm beyond happy to be here.
Chrissie: So I would like to start our conversation out with just kind of some free form background. Tell us a little bit about how you ended up in medicine to begin with.
Sara: Well, that's a long story that I'll try to curtail a little bit. Um, I never studied science in my life. My undergraduate degree is in photojournalism. I avoided the sciences like they were something awful and abhorrent. And I found myself in Guatemala in my early twenties during the last years of the civil war, doing development work in the small villages.
Chrissie: Wait, how does one find oneself in Guatemala? Just tell me a little bit about that because I bet there was something in there that might have been you already solving for joy.
Sara: Well, my boyfriend at the time and I bought a 1970 Volkswagen Westfalia and spent several months driving it from San Diego down through Central America to the Darien Gap and back. Along the way, I just fell in love with Guatemala—the people, the culture.
Chrissie: Wow, that sounds like such an adventure!
Sara: Yes! Speaking of joy, there were a lot of adventures. One that comes to mind is when we were in Honduras and along the coast of Central America, there are communities known as the Garifuna. We asked some children who the grown-ups were to get permission to stay. They were delightful and half stayed with our camper while the others led us to their parents. After that, we heard music ringing out from the forest and realized the children had pulled out our pots and pans and were having a jam session on the beach. It was one of the most joyful moments of my life.
Chrissie: I have goosebumps just hearing that story!
Sara: It was stunningly beautiful. After that journey, I returned to Guatemala, drawn back to the country. I began working with small communities, meeting incredible women’s groups. One day, a group told me, "We can’t afford sweaters, but if we knew how to knit, we could make our own." So, joyfully, I offered to teach them how to knit. Every Tuesday, we would gather on a mountainside, and over time, we shared our lives, our joys, and sorrows.
Chrissie: Wow, and what a way to connect. I can only imagine the beauty of those moments.
Sara: It was incredible. One of those women told me the story of how their village had been ravaged during the war, with many boys taken away. Only one young man was left, but he had a heart condition. Through connections, I got him the help he needed, and they were able to perform surgery that saved his life. It was one of the most touching moments of my time there.
Chrissie: What a powerful example of complicated joy!
Sara: Yes, the beauty and complexity of joy. That was a huge turning point for me, and not long after, I found myself drawn to medicine. That was when I applied to medical school.
Chrissie: Wow, that story alone gives me chills. Do you still know what happened to that young man?
Sara: Unfortunately, I haven’t been back to that village, but the memory of that moment, and how it led me to medicine, stays with me.
Chrissie: That shift in your life direction—it's incredible. And the lives you've touched since then! Speaking of change, your own life took a significant turn when you lost your husband, JJ. Would you share more about that journey and how you found joy again through such deep grief?
Sara: Of course. JJ was a unicorn—truly an extraordinary person. He had a wisdom about him and a belief that humor was the most important vital sign. Even during his brain surgery, he told the nurses to make sure I knew his sense of humor was intact. That was JJ.
Chrissie: What a beautiful spirit.
Sara: He was. We adopted two sons from Guatemala, and they were the light of his life. JJ passed in 2017 after a long battle with brain cancer. It was devastating, and I had to learn everything—from doing laundry to making peanut butter sandwiches—things JJ had always handled. But through that process, I found a new kind of joy with my boys. We called ourselves a tricycle, three instead of four, but still a family.
Chrissie: And that’s the inspiration for The Tricycle, your memoir. It’s such a powerful and beautiful book.
Sara: Yes, that’s why I wrote it. I needed a story of survival, not a guidebook or stages of grief. I needed to know it was possible to make it through, so I wrote that story for myself and for others who might need it.
Chrissie: What a gift you’ve given. Your story offers so much to anyone navigating complex grief and joy. How did this lead you to coaching?
Sara: After JJ passed, I took several years off to focus on raising my kids. When I returned to medicine, the landscape had shifted, and I found myself burned out. I discovered the power of coaching during this time, and it helped me regain control over my experience. That’s when I decided to become a coach. And then, by fate, you reached out, Chrissie, and invited me to Joy Point Solutions. It's been an incredible journey.
Chrissie: It truly has been a joy to collaborate with you. Who do you find yourself most passionate about coaching?
Sara: I love working with healthcare professionals, especially those dealing with burnout and moral injury. There’s so much grief in that, and I feel called to help others navigate it in a meaningful way.
Chrissie: You bring so much wisdom and empathy to your coaching. I’m so glad you’re part of Joy Point Solutions. Where can people find your memoir and connect with you for coaching?
Sara: My memoir, The Tricycle, is available on Amazon and other online retailers. I also write a Substack called The Little House—you can find it at saraharknessbovitz.substack.com. And, of course, I’m thrilled to be coaching with Joy Point Solutions!
Chrissie: Thank you so much, Sara, for sharing your heart and your journey with us today. It’s been such a joy, and I know we’ll continue these conversations.
Sara: The joy is all mine, Chrissie. Thank you.
Chrissie: Thank you for tuning in today and listening to my delightful conversation with Dr. Sara Harkness Bovitz. Next week, we will be talking to Liz Heikelbeck, another Joy Point Solutions coach and creativity expert. I also want to mention that we are coming up on the start of our next 12x12 program—12 people, 12 weeks, infinite possibilities. Sara and I will be co-facilitating, and if you’d like to know more, check out the details in the show notes or visit joypointsolutions.com. If you have any questions or ideas for the podcast, we’d love to hear from you at [email protected].
I want to acknowledge my incredible team—music by Denys Kyshchuk, cover photography by Shelby Brakken, and podcast production by Kelsey Vaughn. Post-production and more are handled by Alyssa Wilkes, and my executive assistant Rachel Osborne keeps everything running smoothly. Lastly, a shout-out to my number one fan, Suzanne Sanchez. Thanks again for tuning in. May we continue caring for ourselves and others, and may we keep solving for joy.
